Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
