We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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