is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
