have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I want to walk on stilts...naked
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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