People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize