like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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