After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He shit in the fireplace
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
