they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
