listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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