so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize