No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
