He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I am available for nakedness
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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