Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize