i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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