Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
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I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
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That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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