I wish I only lived at night.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
