You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
