the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
