And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
My vagina is very pro this idea
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
