Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize