Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
