Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
