You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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