shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Mom said you looked used
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
