there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Randomize
