Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
