So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Still dying that you shit outside
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
