I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
We named our party play list daddy issues
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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