Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
