I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
