How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
