She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
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