her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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