Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
