whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Randomize
