and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I deserve this hangover.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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