Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
