It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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