Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize