You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
