Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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