He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize