it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
