Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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