i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
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Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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