clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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