guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
