Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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