I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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