Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how my cats smell like pot.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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