yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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