We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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