i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
