I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
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Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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