do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
