"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
