Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
