i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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