So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
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just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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