Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!