be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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