Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
