Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
